Life of a Gal Named Liv

Well folks, this is it! The final on-trail PCT blog post (for this year). I’m posting from the Kennedy Meadows general store, where I’ll be bumming around for a few days! This has been such an awesome experience, and I’m so sad to leave the trail life. The views, the adventure, and the friendships have blown my expectations. 613.2 miles hiked. It’s been rad.

Day 30: (16.8 miles) HWY 58 to golden oak spring

Started the morning out with lively conversation (with my Airbnb host), freshly brewed coffee, and an outstanding breakfast burrito.

Never in my life have a fully been pushed over by the wind, but …today was that day! I felt like I was CRAWLING up the mountain with my trekking poles as my front legs, my body hunched over bracing against the 40 mph gusts, and my back legs trying to maintain speed.

I’d say this was probably one of the most challenging physical activities I have ever done in my life. My pack was at max capacity, with 10 days of food, & 5 liters of water.

No water sources for nearly 17 miles. Miles and miles of switchbacks up the mountain. I needed some 2000s hip hop to pull me through.

About 7 miles in, the wind died down a good bit. It was a really nice break to JUST be hiking up a mountain with a loaded pack 😉

Had a lot of snack breaks today, with such an extreme burning of calories during the AM hours.

The views were pretty, but walking on a dirt road for a few miles got me a bit “over it” so I flipped on “the big burn” audiobook.

Loving how many different flowers I’m seeing each day! …once I got to camp I filled up my water at the spring & laid down for a few hours.

My body ached. My stomach was an endless pit for food. Had shepherds pie for dinner- a new flavor, exciting times!

Day 31- (18.8 miles)
Golden Oak Spring to Robin Bird Spring

Woke up grumpy & off my sleeping pad. It was 5:30am, I didn’t sleep well, my stomach hurt, and I knew I had a sustained climb of me. Scarfed down my oatmeal, and choked down my coffee (a stronger brew was in my resupply box, and so my ratio was all messed up). I nodded at the folks at camp just starting to wake up, and started down the trail.

The morning light was gorgeous, which lifted my spirits a bit. The windmills (which were great white noise all night) suddenly started banging! Not sure of the potential issues a malfunction could cause, I scurried down the hill to the base of the climb.
Absolutely starved suddenly, I ate about 700 calories worth of assorted bars and took a break. To get through at least part of the climb before lunch, I popped on a podcast.

Being used to having no service, and driving long distances quite often, I typically just bulk download podcasts that look decently interesting. This one, happened to be on “the primal wound of adoption” and nature therapy.

So, while I climbed this mountain, still feeling unwell, I uncovered some trauma & became aware of some correlations. Adoption, for me, has always been just “a part of my life”… just my story, you know? I hadn’t ever thought much about the effect it may have on my emotional well-being, but a lot of the podcast really hit home for me.

I haven’t spoken much on the fact that I’m adopted, since it hasn’t ever been a big deal to me, and honestly most people just don’t know what to say. Sometimes you’ll get an “oh, jeez I’m sorry” or just general confusion on the appropriate response. I met my bio family when I was around 17 years old, and it’s definitely changed my life. Maybe I’ll go into that more at a later point.

Anyways, it [the podcast] discussed how: many adoptees are worried of rejection (more than non-adoptees) and other issues that can arise, from being separated from your genetic family. The podcast really uncovered some things for me, and while some of it was hard to digest, it also led me to realize that adoption DID have an effect on me and I wasn’t alone in that. This will definitely be something I dig into more, since someday I hope to be able to also adopt a kiddo & I think it’s just a healthy practice [to be able to dig into different parts of what make you, YOU].

While mental health can be a hard topic to discuss, i will say I think it’s very important to try and understand yourself through outside sources, rather than just trying to “deal” all alone. I’ve tried.

This may seem like common sense to most of you, but many folks with heavy religious backgrounds can relate. Growing up, therapy for “seemingly stable everyday folks” was a really a joke, and thus I’ve never been encouraged to dig into my mental well-being. Through podcasts, books, and a lot of self reflection I feel much more enlightened and am not so hard on myself. It’s a journey, but I’m glad I’m on it.

well that was quite the heavy side note! Back to the trail. I ate the last 6 of my tortillas, paired with tuna. &then came the “blowdown” section. Miles of trees covering the trail, and direct sunlight. I was trying to ration my water, since it was an 18.2 mile water carry and I was already half way through my supply.

Funny enough, as I was contemplating just “cowboy camping” for the night, I saw a huge snake and a scorpion. That’s a NO for me! (A couple years ago I was stung in the butt cheek by a scorpion, while cowboy camping, and had a really fun reaction that involved some expensive doctors bills)…

The rest of the afternoon I listed to “National Park After Dark” while meandering through burn scars, Boulder fields, and meadows. Quite the variety of terrain!

Finally I got to the remaining 2.4 miles, and allowed myself to drink all of my water except one liter. I pushed myself up the hill, fueled by my thoughts and that mere liter of water to finally reach the Spring. Filled up my waters and promptly plopped down to eat a candy bar. Set up my tent from the sitting position, made light conversation with “milkman”, and had a relaxing 14 hours in my tent.

Day 32: (7 miles) Robin bird spring to landers meadow camp:

Was woken at 5am by my internal clock, and went out to pee. Thankfully, fell back asleep until 8am… this was in fact my lazy day! I made a perfect cup of camp coffee & lounged against a log while reading the news on the Canadian wildfires (yes, I had service- crazy!). Keys (who came into camp at dusk the night before) and I, made a plan to meet at a camp just 7 miles down the trail and he headed out. I very slowly ate, packed up my things, and prepared for a chill walk in the woods. Only 7 miles- east peasy. I wore my crocs, que’d up some “National Park After Dark” & lathered myself in sunscreen.

I went through a few episodes while hiking, but one was SO interesting. Have y’all heard about the hidden city under Death Valley national park? Very curious. Check it out!

Followed a stream nearly half of the day, so the water carry was light… much appreciated after yesterday!

Discovered my new favorite PROBAR flavor- banana bread. Holy cow, it’s good. Then of course that got me day dreaming of all the baked goods I’m going to make ….& how I need to fix my oven!

The high desert landscape started to evolve into more and more ponderosa pines, which provided a nice amount of shade & smelled just like home! I’ve been missing home quite a bit lately & can’t wait for camping trips with piñon out to my favorite spots in McCall. I love being alone, but I REALLY wish piñon was here. Logistically, I know it wouldn’t work… since he can’t hike 20 miles a day… but I miss him!

Got to camp at 1:45, filled up my water, and went to join keys. We spent the afternoon basking in the sun & full-on chilling. The sun radiating down through the ponderosas.. the birds chirping away.

With so much time on my hands, I listened to a few podcasts: “how squirrels keep track of their nuts”, and “critical phycology for a better society”!

With a lot of topics covered, through many a podcast and many a book..I’ve really noticed that struggle and issue really comes when one seperates themselves from others and nature, with a very “self oriented” world view. This topic can go down a variety of rabbit holes, but on the most basic of notes: when people think of themselves as part of the whole (of society) rather than a competitive view, they are much more compassionate and it’s easier to do the morally “right” course of action. This also can be seen in the light of nature, (quite common concept to Native American cultures) with humans thinking themselves separate of the natural world.

I stretched, bandaged, and did some maintenance on my physical self as well. Since the day I went from above Cabazon, to past the white water river, my shin splint on left leg has been SO FIERCE that I haven’t been able to stretch my heel to my buttcheek. Well, after 45 minutes of stretching I could finally do that motion again with (bearable) pain!

Over the next few hours tons of hikers I’ve met over the course of the trail rolled in! We all had a great evening chatting, laughing, and I showed some of them how to massage their own feet! ..(something I do every night) it was definitely the most social at camp I have been.

Day 33: (22.8 miles) lander meadow camp to (near) bird spring pass

Day started out with the excitement of “ole yeller” (trail angel) pulling into camp and saying “who wants coffee”?! Wish huge smiles across the camp we all scurried to get out of our tents to join him around the campfire and be treated to a tasty breakfast.

Made from scratch, the biscuits and gravy were to die for. We all sat around the campfire in awe of our luck, and had a nice chat with ole yeller.

I left camp first, and felt like a god the first 7 miles (shows what a good breakfast can do!) The views were real pretty, desert in the foreground, and the sierras in the background.

The first water cache was a god send, (since there was no natural water anywhere close) and that’s when I started hiking with ladybug and keys for a bit.

We had a chill early afternoon, with ladybug taking off to keep hiking & me & keys to take a siesta in the Joshua trees.

Carolyn joined us, and we had some great laughs. I finished out the remaining miles (to total 22.8) by myself, with the help of some music.

My body felt great the entire day until the last two miles- after I had a snake charge my trekking pole and I bounced backwards a bit too quick. Messed up my left ankle again..& The sand was tough, given most of the day was at least a slight climb.

We cowboy camped in a draw, with birds playing above us.

Day 34:(12.85 miles) bird spring pass (ish) to McIvers Spring.

All three of us woke up from a rough night of cowboy camping. While the stars were fantastic, the slanted camp site and the bugs… weren’t the best. We very slowly got ready and started up the next mountain- one step at a time…

My body was in a calorie deficit from the day before, so I only got 2 miles up before I had to whip out one of my snacks.

Ate a Honey Stinger, while shuffling up the trail. At the top, we took a real snack break & texted our mom’s “happy Mother’s Day”! Those first three miles were the main climb of the day, with the rest being nice “ups and downs” through the high desert. Saw my first blooming arrowleaf balsam root- made me think of all the herbs & shrooms probably being foraged back home!

Keys and I got to the cabin (decided promptly to pitch our tents- haha) and I did my daily routine. What is my routine, you may ask? 1) lay mat down 2) take shoes and socks off 3) eat a candy bar . All steps must be completed without distraction and before doing any “chores”.

All day, we had some good conversation-the three of us- from discussing our vices to coming up with crass trail names for one another. (Haha)

I’m really going to miss these guys. It’s always experiences like these (or like going on wildland fire assignments) that creates the best friendships. Are you even friends if you can’t discuss your bowel movements, and then in the same breathe talk about your greatest hopes and dreams? Really hope these two will come visit me in Idaho. It was a bittersweet day, with Ladybug continuing up the trail (tight deadline) and Keys getting off trail tomorrow (to go home for a month).

Spent the afternoon laying in the sun, soaking up those lovely california rays & snacking on my food (blah. So ready for normal food again)!

After a couple hours, in walked- Whirley bird!! I hadn’t seen her in a week so I was super excited. We chatted and made dinner together, and then sandbag walked up! Had a nice “dinner party” around my tent again and made tentative plans for the next week or so.

It’s wild, but after tonight I’ll only have 3 nights left out here on the trail. It’s been such a great experience.

Over coffee that day, I was telling them while I don’t think I act any different.. internally I feel so much more at peace. I’ve untangled a lot of thoughts, and am ready to just lead the life I want to live. I want to be much less career focused, and pursue the life I want to live (not what others think is logical, or to meet the expectations put upon me). Just like being out here, you gotta hike your own hike.

Absolutely craving candy when I crawled into bed, I broke my own rule and had a second treat for the day. I’ll be really sad a few days from now.. haha . For now I’ll read my book “mad honey” and enjoy some peanut M&M’s . Was woken up “late” (8pm) to bubbles stumbling into camp after hiking 35 miles. Startled from the ruckus of the cabin door slamming, I read my book another hour until my eyes got heavy.

Day 35:(19.7 miles) mcIvers Spring to Owens Peak Wilderness

Woke up cozy as hell, with a cool breeze blowing on my nose, the only part of my body exposed to the elements. I rolled over to make coffee, while still cozied up. Sipped my coffee slowly in bed, while I listened to the sound of the earth waking up.

The day started out with a nice easy climb through the hills of the desert. Keys and I were astonished by the views of the sierra. Eventually we started the descent, to Walker Pass. After 8 miles, we arrived at the campground to meet his parents. He was getting off trail for three weeks to attend some events, and order some new gear- so this was our final goodbye. As we waited for his parents (who were bringing me gifts of fresh food), we chatted with a massive high school group- who were going on a big backpacking trip to Kennedy meadows! I gorged myself with fresh fruits and goodies, and headed up to conquer the afternoon climb!

10 miles of uphill, and two miles of descent over scree slopes- my afternoon was physically exhausting!

The views were outstanding- I had finally made it to the “big mountains, the real deal, the sierra”

… I listed to one of my favorite podcasts “Dirtbag Diaries” as I pushed myself up the mountains & made it to camp late afternoon.

The day was filled with wildflowers (and the smell of them- so nice), log-hopping, and lots of uneven terrain. I was trying to make it .4 miles further than I made it, but my foot “lit up” once I got to a creek and I said “this is good enough!” And dropped my pack down for the night.

Made some Mac & cheese with veggies- can’t wait for “real food”… had some leftover hot water, so I washed my feet with a nice warm bandana- talk about luxury! Cowboy camped in the sagebrush that night, and read my book until sleep overtook me. Cheers to another night under the stars, fully exhausted!

…Even though the ants were ruthlessly trying to get onto my sleeping bag all night, the stars were worth it…(at least that’s what I’m telling myself)

Day 36:(18.4 miles) Owens Peak Wilderness to Chimney Creek Campground

Woke up very neauseas, partly in a bush, and with an ant crawling into regions you do NOT want an ant crawling into. Popped on my garmin to a flood of messages, and proceeded to get ready- even though I felt like hell.

It was going to be a tough day, and every hiker I passed said the same thing “…yeah I’m doing alright” we had to climb over 2000 feet, and by 10am it was in the 80’s.

Welcome to the southern sierra. Massive peaks, steep ravines, and dusty high desert views. The sweet smell of wildflowers got the best of me, so in between huffing and puffing to get up the mountain I would sneeze.

After 11 miles of pretty sustained climbs, I was blessed by the saddle. I had reached it just in time for a late lunch- I plopped my pad down, took the shoes off, and ate. The wind was strong & much appreciated after such a hot & sweaty climb. The next 7ish miles were mainly downhill, which I didn’t take as slow …and resulted in a good amount of blisters.

Honestly, Today was a hard day, physically and emotionally. From the steep mountains, the heat, the dust, and the pester of bugs to “just thinking” all day.

A benefit of being on this adventure is the time to process. The time to reflect. The time to appreciate & The time to face your demons. Of course, this isn’t ever single day- but you’ll have a few hours here and there where you totally zone off and just try to “unravel the brain”

my unraveling:
I have a really easy time “forgiving & forgetting”, which is GREAT most of the time. …& when’s it’s people we love we often make excuses for them. I hate building up walls in my heart, but I need to start caring more for myself. I can’t keep rolling with the punches with this situation. Sometimes, even though I hate to admit it, you just have to give up. It takes a lot for people to change, and you can only help yourself. With that in mind, I tried to sort out some logistics to make way for a healthier life when I get back to idaho.

Since this is public, & not my personal journal that’s all I’m going to say. My close friends know this issue, that it is heavy on my heart, and so dont worry, I have support. It was a hard day, but my feet took me all the way & my heart will be okay.

Day 37: (12.7 miles) chimney creek camp To manter creek

Woke up around 2am to a deflated pad (surprised it took this long!) & went out to pee. Zipped my mummy bag up all the way and snoozed until nearly 7am. Woke up really feeling the allergies, and very slowly got ready for the day. It’s such a luxury to have pit toilets & a picnic table! Ran into “pickles” and “pop sickle” on the first mile, a mother/ daughter duo who I had a nice chat with.

The first half of the day was climbing up over the hills, with the last half being a gentle downhill through the canyon.

While the climbs today were much more moderate, the temperature was in the high 80s/90s and the pollen was REALLY getting to me. I had to take lots of breaks, to sit down and just breathe, but made it to camp early afternoon. I’ve never been THAT affected by allergies, my head pulsed, my vision was blurry, and I couldn’t stop sneezing.

My thoughts were much more fractured today, but kept me engaged for the entire day of hiking alone.

Once I got to camp, I sat down for my final candy bar.

Dunked my head in the creek, and chilled out until I heard a shriek- pickles had stumbled upon a massive rattlesnake hanging in a sagebrush! HUGE. I set up my tent, and crawled inside to chill (without snakes or bugs)… and then DOWNPOUR of rain. I grabbed my fly and stakes as fast as I could, and buttoned down the place. About a 30 minute long downpour, accompanied by some loud thunder and it was back to being 80 and sunny. Welcome to the sierra!

Read “mad honey” all evening (literally read 400 pages to finish it) & forced myself through another mediocre dinner. Tomorrow was the LASTTTT DAY of the pct (…this year at least!)

I’m super grateful to be out here, enjoying the wildflowers, meeting rad people, and pushing myself every single day. You grow a lot in times like this, with so much time to process & plan.

While I have many thoughts …just tangling up my brain… the one at the forefront: unlimited . Pancake. Breakfast. 9 MILES AWAY!

Tomorrow will be my last day of my PCT hike this year. It will be day 38. The desert section, is basically complete. So now, I just have:

109 miles of the southern most desert (I’ll do this when I’m visiting california next)

The sierra (who wants to join me for the JMT?)

NorCal

Oregon

Washington

Since my parents are moving back to Oregon, I’ll probably bust out NorCal & Oregon next. I’m excited for my return to the PCT. The trail life is a good life. The people you meet, the experiences you have, and the adventure of it… so worth it.

Day 38:(9.5 miles) Manter Creek to Kennedy Meadows

You always want the “day of” to feel perfect when you wake up. I don’t think it’s ever the case-haha! Felt a bit rougher than other mornings, with a mere 5 hours of sleep. Lots of people camped around me, tossing and turning due to the warm air, and the anticipation of a shower after 9 days.

Made a cup of coffee, accidentally tainted it with Mac & cheese flavor, and packed up.

as I walked along the rushing kern river, i thought to myself: this is my life, and I always want it to be my life.

I don’t want to climb any career ladders, have a big house, or strive for the “American dream”- that is: the “current” American dream. I want a life simply of adventures, of seeing; and of being.

The American dream isn’t what it used to be. To think of the wagon trains of the west, my bloodline. Fearless folks, leaving what they knew. The comforts of the known [left] for the unknown. The dream of a fresh start, after an adventure of a lifetime. Through heartache and suffering, but for what? More hard work. A tough life. Very much so, [but] a well earned existence.

The west is in my blood, adventure runs fierce through my veins.

To think of Edward Abbey, and his literacy works on the common man in our national parks.
To John Muir attempting to explain the marvels of the west, to Thoreau who contrasted the life of living alone in nature to the common mans’ , and to Emerson- a critic of the pressures of society.

All of these authors, knew suffering was just an ingredient of a worthwhile existence. To get to the top of a mountain, one must first climb it.

Oh, The Natural erosion of earth and self. As I watch the waves of the Kern smash into the eroding banks…
[i think that] we think of erosion typically with negative connotation. But scientifically speaking, there are Multiple of erosion, all leading to the healthiest phase of a river bank [stage zero]. Poetically speaking, we need [internal, theoretical] erosion to become the people we are meant to become. Experiences shape us, erode us, over and over again.

While the kern river was in flood stage, with an excess of snow melt from this winters storms, the banks were swept away. Murky waters, downed logs, an episode of change.

Landscapes will constantly change, just as we do.

I have seen forests burn. I have evacuated people from their homes.

Just as;

I have seen children dance without a care in the world. I have seen flowers bloom.

There is balance in this world, with lows come highs.

If you seek only to relax and find rest in the world, I personally do not believe you will find it. Of course with technology and a future of “ease” …that may be a false statement.

I believe :

Life is meant to be lived just as a river flows
There will be tumultuous times to pair with times of peace.
In old age, we must embrace our crows feet & not hide the lines of life.
We should wear our scars,
Our wrinkles,
; our stories, with pride.

Day 39& past (BONUS 29 miles)

being a bum at Kennedy meadows general store has been a treat. From late nights at the “outdoor movie theater”, to food challenges, to laying by the river, to surprising my friends with trail magic! I’ll be headed out tomorrow, but it’s been so fun to hang out with everybody & chill out.