Life lately:
The past couple of months have felt like a bit of an in-between season. A season that has lasted forever and not at all.
We’ve been spending a lot of time on therapies/doctors appts/ evaluations- settling into the routines, noticing small shifts, celebrating achievements of all sizes, and trying to stay consistent in the ebb and flow.
Winter barely showed up this year (two snowfalls and that was about it), which somehow fits the overall tone. We’re also quietly planning a move, sorting through logistics while still making room for some genuine enjoyment.
As a family, we are trying to:
1) Be more intentional with our time, movements, words, and thoughts
2) Have 50-75% of our dinner plates be veggies
3) Take time for ourselves to re-align each day as individuals
4) Workout when we can fit it in daily or every other day (not counting dog walks)
5) Soak in the excitement of the next chapter, and also feel the feelings of closing the current one here in Idaho
6) Breathe Deeply
7) Love on one another/ Quality family moments
Lessons learned:
Since my last post we have learned a lot about Basil, his assumed diagnosis, ourselves, & in life as a whole:
1. He most likely has CVI- and clarity doesn’t come easily.
Cortical/ Cerebral Visual Impairment isn’t straightforward to diagnose. It doesn’t show up neatly on scans or exams, and getting answers can take persistence, advocacy, and patience. We’ve learned that uncertainty can last longer than you expect-and that pushing/reaching for understanding matters.
2. His vision fluctuates.
With CVI, access to sight can change from day to day. Some days he makes eye contact, slowly reaches for a toy, or tracks a face. Other days, his visual response is minimal. The variability isn’t regression-it’s just how his brain processes the world. As a parent, it can be hard because you never quite know what to expect from one day to the next. Being the kind of person that I am, y’all know that I’m tracking every visual experience every single day. I say this as a matter of fact, since it’s something that I’m struggling with. I want to quantitate the qualitative & I don’t want to forget what has happened or what has not. BUT I’m also trying to make sure Basil does not become an experiment or a project in my brain. This has been a really tough balance for me. Phin and I both like solid answers, logic, and scientific reasoning. CVI is just the opposite it seems. Most people think of blindness as truly black and white- it’s not though! It’s on such a spectrum, and that in itself can vary so much for the individual. Here is a really great resource to learn more: https://share.google/Em9hpcZzXRo8ILZoq
3. This is simply a different way of experiencing the world.
Blindness and low vision exist on a spectrum and are part of human diversity. The world can be understood through sound, touch, movement, rhythm, memory, and connection. Vision is one pathway — not the only one — and there is beauty in the way perception adapts. While we do believe he can see (some days & to some extent ), we won’t quite how it looks through his eyes until he can explain it to us.
4. He’s strong, determined, and full of spirit.
Basil moves, reaches, and tries again with grit and joy. CVI doesn’t slow him down — he shows up fully every day. He is physically really keeping pace!
5. He’s changed the rhythm of our lives in the best way.
Life moves fast, and it’s easy to assume there will always be more time -more moments, more milestones, more ordinary days. Basil has quietly taught us to be present in what’s happening right now. To notice the small victories. To hold onto laughter a little longer. To recognize that nothing is guaranteed, and that’s exactly why it’s worth paying attention to. Not in a heavy way — just in a grounded, awake way.
Finishing thoughts & updates:
We didn’t make it to the southwest this Winter, but we are looking ahead for a Fall trip. For my 30th birthday , we are aiming to spend a week along the river in the camper. We are both so excited to hit the road again, and while the next year won’t look exactly as we had anticipated, we’re hoping to squeeze in as many small trips as possible. I think the biggest heartbreak of all is the lack of Wallowa trips this year will hold. My heart YEARNS for that wonderful place. The jagged peaks; the alpine meadows; the sweet smell of wildflowers in the cool breeze. The memories of it hold strong, and come out through my poetry, dreams, and artwork . We will be back & new adventures are just around the corner (constant reminder to myself!)
Time truly is flying by so much quicker these days. Basil’s 6 month is today and he is becoming a toddler right beneath my nose! I get glances in the mirror of myself, with him on my hip, familiar but unrecognizable. The wrinkles on both mine and Phin’s eyes are settling in, reminders of all the smiles we have shared. Postpartum has shifted my body, but I’m slowly feeling steady and confident in my new build. 6 months since I was truly stretched to my limit. My spirit has changed, softened, into a deeper adoration for the present. We are all the same, but also so different.
Sending all the good vibes! -Liv & the crew
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